


Broken Promises

by xxstk122



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Cheating, Doubt, Falling Out of Love, Insecurities, M/M, bestfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 20:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17107370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxstk122/pseuds/xxstk122
Summary: “Can you do one thing for me? Don’t promise me anything”ShowKi bingo card B: Break up





	Broken Promises

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by Bolbbalgan4 - HARD TO LOVE  
> I recommend you listen to it while reading ^^

Kihyun was tired of relationships.

He already had 2 boyfriends before.

 

The first one left him for his friend. Kihyun expected it at some point.

It seems like his first boyfriend only liked him because he was upset about being rejected.

He was Kihyun’s first love.

The relationship lasted for 5 months. Shy smiles and exciting moments were shared. It was nice until Kihyun found out that his boyfriend hasn’t gotten over that rejection. That his boyfriend ran back to the person who broke his heart in the first place.

Kihyun was hurt, his first love ended just like that.

Was it even love if that person never really loved him back?

When that person just used him to cover the hole in his heart?

 

“I promise. I really did love you Kihyun” his now ex boyfriend says

“If you did then why did you do this to me?”

“I’m sorry..”

 

His first love made him feel useless. Even after months of being together, of showing effort and loving this person, he never loved him back. He was just a band aid.

It scarred him to have his first love experience like that.

First love never dies? Bullshit.

 

* * *

 

The second one was only a year after.

Kihyun met him through a common friend in high school.

The guy was funny and friendly. Kihyun couldn’t help but fall for him.

A lot of people fell for him and Kihyun was lucky enough that this popular guy liked him back.

A lot of fun things happened. Kihyun had his first kiss.

It was nothing special. Just a simple kiss on the lips.

It was a quick peck at the park. It was unexpected but the two of them seem happy with it.

 

“Kihyun, can we talk?” his boyfriend came to him at their lunch break.

Kihyun nodded and stood up and followed his boyfriend to a part of the school which wasn’t crowded.

“Is something wrong?” Kihyun worries and holds his hands but the guy retracts his hand as if he’s been burnt by Kihyun’s touch.

“My parents found out” his boyfriend says

Ah, of course. They were just kids after all, they haven’t told their parents of their relationship.

“And they want me to break up with you” he adds

Kihyun feels his heart drop and break on the floor.

“But you won’t, right?” he asks without trying to sound like he was begging

“No- no, I won’t but”

“But what?”

“Can we pretend to break up? So that my parents won’t worry about it anymore but we’ll still be together! Just not in public-”

“Are you.. Are you ashamed of me?” Kihyun can feel tears in his eyes

“Kihyun.. No.. It’s just that.. My parents think I’m too young and being in a relationship is a distraction. They don’t want me fooling around at such a young age” his boyfriend explains

“Fooling around? You promised me you were serious, you said you love me” Kihyun shouts

“I do, Kihyun. I promise you, I am serious with you. I’m not just fooling around. But my parents, I can’t disobey them”

“So you want to be in a secret relationship?”

“It sounds bad.. I know but we don’t have any choice”

“we do have a choice, we can fight for this!” Kihyun argues

“It’s too risky! We’re young and powerless, we can’t win this fight, we won’t win! It’s better if we go with my plan and pretend to break up-” his boyfriend argues back but before he can finish Kihyun cut him

“We can’t win? We haven’t even tried! You don’t even want to try! Let’s just break up for real so we don’t have to pretend for shit!” Kihyun shouts and walks out.

 

His second love made him feel ashamed of himself.

He felt like he wasn’t worth fighting for.

Sure he was young but he won’t let his pride be stepped on like that.

 

* * *

 

Kihyun carried all that pain in him. Sure he has moved on but the scars stayed with him. It made him close his heart to other people who tried to get his love and attention.

 

He was thankful he had his friends with him all through this.

They never left him and helped him moved on, to feel better about himself.

Especially Hyunwoo.

Son Hyunwoo was his bestfriend. A bestfriend he could always be honest with. He could tell Hyunwoo everything about his pain and worries and he knows the older wouldn’t judge him or invalidate his feelings. Thank god Hyunwoo was always there, he wouldn’t know what he would’ve done if his best friend wasn’t there to cheer him up.

 

They were very honest with each other.

So honest that the moment Hyunwoo confessed his hidden feelings for Kihyun, the younger blatantly rejected him.

 

“You know how I feel about love and relationships in general, how could you even like me and hope there’s a chance for us?” Kihyun says to his bestfriend

“Because I love you. I will prove it to you. I’m not like them. I promise to never hurt you like that” Hyunwoo defends himself

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep” the younger says bitterly

“But I will keep them. I will”

 

Hyunwoo did keep his promise.

He didn’t give up on the stubborn Yoo Kihyun.

He prepared all kinds of surprises and gifts and acts of love for him.

Even though they were best friends Kihyun had to be guarded. He still remember the pain he went through already.

But he trusted Hyunwoo, that’s his best friend doing everything he can to gain Kihyun’s love.

Kihyun didn’t hate Hyunwoo, in fact he likes him back but there’s always a dangerous risk of falling for your bestfriend.

 

“What if I do say yes and we break up? What will happen to our friendship?” Kihyun asks Hyunwoo on their walk home

“We’ll stay as bestfriends. I’ll never leave you” Hyunwoo says with a smile on his face

Kihyun feels his heart beating fast. Hyunwoo was everything he could ask for. He was the guy that all the girls dreamed of having. He was like the lead male in all the kdramas that he has watched.

 

After 8 whole months of Hyunwoo courting Kihyun, he finally says yes.

Hyunwoo was over the moon. His bestfriend loved him back. His bestfriend is now his boyfriend.

And Kihyun was very happy too. Hyunwoo was nothing but amazing. Always showing him love like giving him flowers even when there’s no special occasion. Surprising him with gifts even if it wasn’t his birthday.

 

“Why do you do so much for me?” Kihyun asks, his insecurities are surfacing again. He keeps thinking of the day Hyunwoo will get tired of him and leave him. He doesn’t doubt Hyunwoo’s love for him but he doubts himself.

“Because you deserve all the happiness in the world. You make me so happy just by being with me, so I’m just trying to give back the happiness you give me” Hyunwoo confidently says and hugs the younger.

“I don’t deserve you. You’re too good for me” Kihyun starts to cry

“Baby, don’t cry. Do you love me?” Hyunwoo asks

“Of course! I love you so much! I’m just afraid you’ll get tired of me and leave me like they did!”

“I promise. I won’t leave you. I’m always going to love you, what ever happens” Hyunwoo says as he rubs the younger’s back and kisses him on the lips.

 

They share their first kiss that time. And it’s so much better than his real first kiss. He knows at that time that Hyunwoo was really the one for him.

Hyunwoo was his soulmate, his one and only. He could never love anyone else like he does with Hyunwoo.

 

* * *

 

Kihyun started to make surprise for Hyunwoo his own way. Always supporting him at competitions and making him food that Hyunwoo likes so much. Kihyun knew that this is what true love is like. This is why people would do so much for their loved one. They were a great couple. Their friends rooted for them and dubbed them as the “Forever couple”.

But like any other couple, they had fights here and there.

Usually small fights that escalated quickly. Hyunwoo was too possessive sometimes and Kihyun was too laid back.

 

“Why can’t you see he’s flirting with you?!” Hyunwoo shouts

“Are you crazy?! He’s my friend!” Kihyun shouts back

“Yeah but he liked you back then!! and he still might like you now!”

“What the hell Hyunwoo! You’re so possessive! You’re not my whole life! I have other friends too you know!” Kihyun was angry now. He never liked possessive people.

They continued to fight over it for hours until Kihyun walks out. It seems like nothing is getting in their heads.

 

They see each other the next day to talk about it now that they have calmed down.

“Do you want to just break up?” Kihyun’s voice shakes

Hyunwoo starts to cry now and kneels and hugs Kihyun.

“No! Please don’t do this. I’m sorry. I won’t be like that anymore.”

Kihyun hugs him back and cries too “I’m sorry to baby, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. I’m not breaking up with you”

 

It wasn’t the first time they almost broke up.

There were a lot of fights that were too close to the edge but they managed to resolve it until the end.

 

“Can you do me a favor? Don’t promise me anything” Kihyun says seriously

“Why?” Hyunwoo is curious about this

“Because I hold on to them, thinking that they will be kept but people always break them at the end. I’m so sick of it. I don’t want to cling on to false hopes”

“Have I ever broken a promise to you?” Hyunwoo asks

Kihyun was silent. He thought of all the times Hyunwoo kept his promise.

“I haven’t, right? It’s because I don’t want to hurt you. I will never stop loving you. I promise” He says as he looks directly in Kihyun’s eyes.

Hyunwoo’s eyes were clear and determined. Kihyun could always trust those honest eyes. So he just nodded and trusted Hyunwoo with his heart.

“Then can you promise me one more thing?” Kihyun looks up to his boyfriend.

Hyunwoo only hums in question

“Be honest with me. Always. If you don’t love me anymore, if you’re tired of me, if you hate me, you have to tell me” Kihyun says seriously.

Hyunwoo’s heart hurts at the thought of it happening but he reluctantly nods and says “I promise”

 

* * *

 

 

After 2 years of being together. Things became a routine. They’d ask how each other’s day went. They’d eat dinner together. Go out and have a date. Have movie marathons and sleep overs.

Kihyun was truly happy for the whole time.

 

In fact, too happy that he didn’t see how Hyunwoo was acting different.

 

For Hyunwoo, things became a routine. He didn’t see Kihyun like he did years ago. He loved Kihyun still but not as much as before. And he tried, he tried several times to revive the flame in him to be as happy as he was like before. It’s not like he was sad when he was with Kihyun but sometimes he imagines himself doing something else. Like his time with Kihyun wasn’t precious anymore.

 

“Baby, are you okay? Is something bothering you?”

They were in the middle of eating dinner together but Hyunwoo has barely touched his food.

“huh?”

“I said, is everything okay?” Kihyun knows something is up. Hyunwoo couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“It’s nothing” Hyunwoo says with a shrug

“Hyunwoo, didn’t you promise me that you’d always be honest with me?”

With this Hyunwoo stands up from the dining table and proceeds to go get his coat.

“Where are you going?”

“For a walk, I don’t want to hurt you”

“hurt me?” Kihyun can already feel his chest tighten

Hyunwoo reluctantly sighs and turns around

“Kihyun, I’m sorry…” Hyunwoo starts to say

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m not happy here. I feel so… like I’m empty” He doesn’t have to look at Kihyun to know that the younger is already crying

“Is it something that I did? What did I do wrong? How can I make it up to you?” Kihyun was already sobbing loudly

“No.. You did nothing wrong. I just… I fell out of love. I’m sorry” Hyunwoo feels a slap on his face

“You promised!! You promised to me you’ll always be here! You’ll always love me and never hurt me!” Kihyun angrily shouts

“I also promised you that I’ll always be honest with you.

Kihyun, I tried. I tried so many times to make myself feel again but I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t let you hang on to this when I have nothing to give you anymore” Hyunwoo’s cheek hurt from the slap but he knows that he deserves it. He deserves more than a slap to the pain he is bringing to Kihyun.

Kihyun drops to his knees and begs “Please. No, don’t leave me. Tell me what I can do. I’ll do anything!”

“I’m sorry Kihyun” and that’s the last thing Hyunwoo says before he opens the door and leaves.

 

That was the last time Kihyun saw Hyunwoo.

He kept on sending texts, begging the older to give him another chance but the older didn’t respond to anything. Not even when he called.

Kihyun kept on crying for days and refused to eat any more than once a day. It destroyed Kihyun’s trust in everything. Hyunwoo was his happiness, his comfort, his bestfriend. He lost both his lover and bestfriend.

 

“Please come back to me” Kihyun whispers to himself as he cries himself to sleep once again.

 

Minhyuk and Hyungwon had to check on him frequently. They made sure he was eating enough and comforted him when he was feeling more pain the usual. Months go by for Kihyun like this. Everything he saw made him remember Hyunwoo. Sometimes he even wonders if he was ever loved at all. People always made promises to him, and as the fool he is, he always believed them even though he knew they wouldn’t keep it.

“Do you guys think maybe I’m just… incapable of being loved?” Kihyun asks his friends

“No.. Don’t think that way” Minhyuk says

“But Hyunwoo.. I didn’t know what I did wrong. Did I lack something?”

“Kihyunnie, please eat more. You’re too thin now” Hyungwon says as he hands prepares a spoonful of food for the younger to take

“I’m so sorry I’m like this.. I just… I love him so much. Everything was okay then suddenly it wasn’t! I don’t know!” Kihyun starts to sob loudly again. Both Minhyuk and Hyungwon couldn’t do anything but hug their friend in comfort.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s been a year but sometimes he still dreams of being with Hyunwoo only to wake up to a cold bed and empty room. He was all by himself. Even in his sleep, he looks and hopes that Hyunwoo would return to him and they would be happy again.

And whenever he did have the courage to go outside, he always looks for a familiar face. The face of the person that he deeply loves in hopes of having him back again in his life.

Kihyun lives on everyday like it was nothing but deep inside he’s still carrying all of that pain and doubt in his heart. Feeling like he's never enough of anyone's love, like he will never be truly happy again. 

Hyunwoo was his true love and he knows he will never love someone the same way again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was so painful to write hhhh and wow it's my first fic over 2k!
> 
> fun fact: this fic is heavily inspired by my experiences


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